By Greg Carpenter
 (Photo by Patrick McDermott/Getty Images)

(Photo by Patrick McDermott/Getty Images)

We received an excuse note from a teacher that a parent had given to them.  The note describes why her daughter was absent from school.  To me, this is an excused absence.

“To whom it may concern.  [My daughter] was absent from school on February 5, 2013.  She exhibited signs and symptoms consistent with the ‘bird flu.’ She experienced purple and Pollard colored skin, wacco Flacco personality, crow-like voice, and a temperature of 52 degrees, not the Sizzle of 98.6. She felt ‘Harbaugh.’  She began to feel a little better after she was given Smith Brother lozenges and Jones juice, Oher was it the Bisciotti wafers, Ellerbe tea, and Pitta bread.  We did Reed that Koch‘ed Rice and Leach soup in a superbowl was good for this condition also.  Poehaps, these measures were a bit extreme, however, Ngata another day of school will be missed.  HoRay, [my daughter] will return Boldin and ready to go on February 6th.”

Is this the BEST school excuse ever?


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